I know this is stupid. Typing my thoughts out of my mind. Not caring much about the grammar. I just can't help it within myself. I feel so alone. I feel so empty. I can't improve what's wrong. I know that I'm giving my best in everything that I do but there's wrong. Today is a fail day.
I remembered the time when I taught myself that there's no bad day in this world. There's just things that will really make you sad, sorrowful. As I look back, I can see every positive things and count them instead of negatives....That's the past.
I want to feel that emotion now. But, it doesn't haunt me. Though our filed trip is coming tomorrow, I can't feel a thing. I know that there are my friends to support and care for me. Here is my family who loves me. God who is always there to save me. BUT. I'm really sad today.
I had my failing grades, I broke my routine in Physics, something unexpected happen, I wasn't permitted by mother to attend the sleepover, I had few food for tomorrow and for the first time I walk at the corridor ALONE. These things are very ver very shallow, I know.....
I don't want to feel like this "again". Powerless and doesn't have the energy to change and turn back time.
Mixed emotions are coming through my head. Tomorrow will be a big event. For the past years, I've experienced joy during filed trip but tomorrow will be the last one. Last hang out with my classmates/batch mates. :(
I always greet myself good morning everyday. To see the sun and clouds smiling and the breeze of air waving at me. As usual, I'm always late in class. I had to run up the stairs and take a short cut to reach the class in the earliest possible time. I lost my class pictures. THAT SUCKS!
PLEASE KEEP MYSELF BUSY TO SHORTEN THE TIME OF LONELINESS. :(
As I press these keys
There's something that I miss
I want to cry
There's no shoulder to lean on
I want to shout
There's no place for that
I want to sleep and forget everything
Yet, I can't.
.... Sorry for being emotional today. I feel that I'll burst If I don't let it flow here.
And I shall end here.
